Today, the range of possibilities has considerably expanded for housing. While the majority of people, and therefore couples, still invest in living spaces such as houses and apartments, others are making different choices. Alongside traditional motorhomes and caravans, tiny houses are flourishing, while houseboats sail or anchor in cities. Troglodyte dwellings, once abandoned, are regaining their prestige. We are also seeing the emergence of shared housing and third places. On the one hand, there are structures where people choose to live together, and on the other, places where businesses, associations, and families come together.
What is a third place
The third place is a new concept that takes many different forms. In any case, it is defined by the coexistence of various elements. The benefits of such coexistence are manifold. On the one hand, there is the obvious appeal of learning to share one’s living space with others at a time when, de facto, space is becoming scarce. Knowing how to share our living space with people who are not like us and with whom we share neither blood ties nor common interests can make us inclined to share the available space with all living beings. On the practical and economic side, third places allow significant costs to be shared among several people. The cost of meeting rooms, which can be used by all residents and users of the third place according to a schedule, is split among everyone. Third places bring together people who want to work in the same place, offer cultural activities, or strengthen social ties. Third places are meant to weave strong local roots. They provide an opportunity to revitalize a sense of belonging to a community and rebuild local ties. Some third places, which are socially diverse spaces, offer shared housing open to people from all walks of life, thereby promoting greater social cohesion.
The elective couple thrives in community life
At the beginning of their relationship, couples really need to focus on their relationship in a space that is protected from external pressures, so that each person has the opportunity to discover the other and develop their own style of union. But they must also, in a second phase, open up to others in order to move beyond their own circle and draw nourishment from outside. The third place offers a privileged setting for experiencing this rejuvenating openness. In fact, in the same place, you can find collaborative work dynamics, rich cultural offerings and social activities, and sometimes even shared housing mixing people from different backgrounds and origins. Not all third places necessarily offer all of these services. However, they are by nature spaces for exchange and conviviality. That is their purpose. For example, the Esvière third place created and run by Fondacio in Angers (France) offers a range of cultural activities, as well as social gatherings and collaborative gardening involving neighbors from all walks of life, including people who are marginalized (due to illness, migration, disability, accidents, etc.). It is also a learning center with meeting rooms. Finally, it offers temporary accommodation for participants, but also long-term accommodation for full-time managers on site and for people in particularly vulnerable situations.
L’Esvière aims to welcome individuals and/or groups of people who want to become agents of change in the world, particularly in the face of climate challenges. The call for ecological conversion is therefore associated with this, from an integral ecological perspective that does not isolate the realities of social injustice from the urgent need to protect life.
By evolving in such spaces, each spouse enriches their relational intelligence and culture. They benefit from the encounters and discussions they may have with residents, regulars, and visitors. They can then share or reinvest new discoveries or knowledge within their own couple, without forgetting to let others benefit, depending on the circumstances and situations, from the treasures of their own marital experience… if only through personal stability, if not the possibilities for inner transformation that this can offer them.
The elective couple opens up otherness in order to flourish in the world
The third place also offers a safe environment for experimenting with openness to the world. The relationships that the couple can maintain within the third place can prepare them, if not train them, to engage socially and culturally in society, according to their own wishes. Many people have experienced the benefits of community involvement in childhood or early adulthood. When you have the opportunity to take initiative and assume responsibility in a supportive environment—even if there are tensions in community settings—you are better prepared to do so in all circumstances. Life in a third place can therefore be an opportunity, not only for the couple, but also for the wider social group, which will be able to count on two motivated citizens who are experienced in interactions that benefit everyone.
Raising children in a third place: a challenge or an opportunity
Giving children the opportunity to live with their parents in a third place is a gamble that can pay off if you take advantage of the opportunities and benefits of such an arrangement. Indeed, if other families live in the same place, this can provide children with playmates. But more importantly, children experience community life and the benefits of cooperation and cohabitation. They learn, by example, to adapt, to consider the needs of others, and to resolve conflicts in a peaceful and constructive manner. Another advantage is the opportunity to benefit from infrastructure that is not available in other settings. Finally, it could be added that children can discover, through simple discussions or observations, the professions practiced by the professional users of the third place.
The essentials in a nutshell
Third places offer many advantages to those who frequent them. Couples and, by extension, families have their place there. A very small proportion even live there. Such spaces offer a collective project, with that little something extra, that je ne sais quoi that makes all the difference between a political concept with its potential rigidities and a transformative human experience, because it respects differences and is above all interested in them.
We discussed:
- What a third place is
- The fulfillment of couples in community life
- Discovering the benefits of otherness for personal fulfillment in the world
- The opportunity that a third place represents for children‘s growth
The openness offered by third places is an opportunity to be seized by anyone who wishes to live differently. This new way of experiencing human relationships is a wonderful opportunity to rethink our interactions with all living things.
These are the different aspects discussed by Sylvie Barth in her book, which will be published in just a few days: Créer son couple quand la planète crie (Create One’s Couple When The Planet Cries Out). An invitation to continue the journey into the co-elective universe and its inspiring influence… Yes, by keeping faith in the power of alliance, in relationships and in society, a future is possible for all living beings!
To learn more, reserve Sylvie Barth‘s book now from Nouvelle Cité (Elidia) and attend her upcoming conferences in France. She is an author, lecturer, radio host, and relationship expert. Her innovative and daring work is unparalleled in the field of relationships today.
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L’Encrier de l’Atelier
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